The Languages of Love

Everyone wants love. With Valentine’s Day coming soon, I’m reminded of Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, Singles Edition. Each person in a relationship is different when it comes to what makes him or her feel loved.

Do you know which primary love language your friend, parent, child, or significant other one prefers? Discovering this will help you show you care in a way to delight him or her the most.

 My husband and I took a quiz on these, but being married to him for several years, his answers were not too surprising. I have learned what he likes and what doesn’t really mean much to him.

If you know The Five Love languages, you can learn which your friend or loved one prefers and show you care by “speaking” in that language. They are described below, but not in any order of importance. You are more likely to emotionally connect with another and actively give and receive love by discovering and using each other’s love language.

Words of affirmation give another person confidence and make him or her feel good about himself or herself. As a child, don’t you remember how good you felt when your mother or father said you were a good person or praised you for doing something well? Doesn’t hearing, “I’m proud of you,” make you feel warm inside?

Gifts – Why do people feel so happy getting presents at Christmas time? Everyone likes a gift, especially when it is a surprise. However, my husband and one daughter much prefer I ask what they’d like for Christmas or birthday. In a romance novel, when a man showers the heroine with gifts, she feels he really cares. My gift to you is a recipe for Mint Frosted Brownies, the most scrumptious brownie I’ve even tasted. See the recipe below.

Acts of service are welcome, especially if it is a task the person doesn’t enjoy doing or is tired from doing other necessary things. I especially appreciate my husband filling the dishwasher without being asked after I have had a busy, tiring day.

 Quality time deepens a relationship. The two of you talk about things in common, have shared memories and maybe even have an inside joke. As a working mother, I always tried to spend my days off doing something with my children, like taking them to a park.

Touch – “Numerous research projects in the area of child development have come to the same conclusion; babies who are held, hugged, and touched tenderly develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact.” Gary Chapman, 5 Love Languages. Even old people in nursing homes feel better when someone touches them.

Before Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to figure out which Love Languages appeal to you, then ask your friend, parent, child, or significant other what he or she likes best. Remembering and using those will definitely enrich your relationship. I’ll be interested in reading what you learned.

Mint Frosted Brownies

4 eggs

2 cups sugar

½ cup margarine (1 stick)

¾ cup baking cocoa

1 cup flour

1 tsp. vanilla

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

16 chocolate mint patties or 16 Andies Candies

Beat eggs until foamy. Gradually add sugar (about 2-3 Tablespoons at a time), beating well after each addition. Melt margarine and pour in slowly while beating. (Eggs tend to curdle if heated too quickly.) Sift flour and cocoa together into bowl. Mix well. Add vanilla and mix well, then stir in nuts. Spread in a greased 9X9 pan and bake 40-45 minutes at 325. Remove from oven and add 15 -20 chocolate mint patties. Bake 3 minutes more, then remove from oven and stir to make frosting. Cool to room temperature and cut in 16 pieces.  You can cut them smaller, but they are crumbly and tend to fall apart because they are rich and fudgy. You can omit the nuts and the mint candies, and they still are delicious.

Nutrients (with Andies Candies): 242 Calories, 13 g. fat, 53 mg. cholesterol, 34g. carbohydrate, 28g. sugar, 122 mg. sodium.

(without nuts, you will have 52 less calories and 5 less grams of fat)

About carolynrae

Carolyn Rae (a/k/a Carolyn Rae Williamson) - Her passion is writing romantic suspense and delving into the minds of stalkers, bombers and terrorists that threaten the course of true love. Romancing the Doctor, follows two lovers in a search for a dangerous virus spreader. It was published on May 22, 2018, Watch for the Cordillera Royals Series, soon to come, with Pretend Princess, Royal Wedding Scoop, and Holiday with a Royal. She has also written a Witness Protection Series, which includes Hiding from Love, Protected by Love, and Tempted by Love. She wrote the text of There IS Life After Lettuce (Eakin Press), a cookbook for heart patients and diabetics and has a master's degree in home economics. Whenever she tastes a delicious high calorie dish, she goes home to make a more healthy, but still tasty version for her husband to taste. Her profile, travel, and cooking articles have appeared in the Fort Worth Star Telegram, The Dallas Morning News, Positive Parenting, AAA World, Hawaii and Alaska, and Romance Writer's Report.
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